7.5 Billion People
There are over 7.5 billion people in the world. Within that, we are given an unknown amount of time to spend with a certain amount of people. This includes friends, family, coworkers, neighbors, mentors, online communities, and others in our local community.
It All Comes Down To 150 People
According to Robin Dunbar, a British anthropologist, he has a popular theory that you can have 150 meaningful relationships at once. This theory is called Dunbar’s Number. To me it begs the question, “Who are my 150 people?”
Dunbar takes it a step further by stating that we typically have 5 loved ones, 15 good friends, 50 friends, 150 meaningful relationships, 500 acquaintances, and 1500 people you can recognize. He goes onto say that people can fluctuate between the different tiers. While there is some disagreement on putting numbers to the different tiers, it roughly seems quite accurate for me.
We are shaped by the people around us and our experiences. Who are those people? Who am I choosing to spend my time with? Who do I enjoy spending time with? Are there groups I could be joining to learn more about my interests?
With time being limited, I want to spend it with those that are a net positive for me. Which can mean a lot of different things, depending on the relationship. Here are a few different types of potential relationships to consider.
Mentors
I seem to look back very fondly on times in my life when I have had various mentors. If you do not currently have a few individuals you look to for mentorship, I highly encourage it as it can be a very rewarding relationship to have. It does not need to be a lifelong relationships either. It is common for mentors to come and go.
Differing Opinions
I have discovered that I want to be engaging more with people who challenge me. I believe that differing opinions should not be tossed aside, but considered first with an open mind. Sometimes I will be thrown an idea that I immediately dismiss. When this happens, I like to take a step back. Is there another way I could have been looking at it? Could I have been wrong?
With that, finding individuals that challenge us in this way can be very helpful in making us a more well-rounded person. You may not change your mind on everything, but you may come out the other side with a better understanding of what you do believe and why.
Consider Downsizing Social Media
I have found this concept of narrowing down my relationships to be helpful in terms of social media. I used to follow so many individuals online that were subconsciously pulling me in so many directions.
For example, I was following brands that came out with new products each week, but then also following individuals with a strong passion for minimalism. When I started to really dial down who I was following, it became so much less stressful.
This helped me make social media more of a tool. It also led me to spending less time on social media because there were less people and brands for me to check in on.
Am I someone else’s 150?
This mentality reminds me of the importance of the people that choose to spend their time with me. Am I giving them my full attention? How can I make the most out of our time? Am I bringing my best self for them? This will help prompt me to put my phone away, focus on them, and live more in the moment.
I recently have really been enjoying asking questions to my friends and family to get to know them just a little bit better each time we hang out. If this sounds like something you are interested in, I recommend checking out TableTopics. They have a huge line of different sets of questions. What I recently found out is that they are now offering it digitally via an Apple app and they are in the works on making an Android app. When the Android app comes out, I will be very excited to start diving into more questions.
Conclusion
Bringing that intentionality to your relationships can be really rewarding. I believe this helps us grow and also enjoy the process as we navigate through life. The question “who are your 150 people?” can be a good tool to check yourself when you feel out of control or unsatisfied with daily life. What do you think?
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